On my impending graduation/doomsday/soul search

So I’ve embarked on the hunt for a full time job. The problem is, of course, that I haven’t gotten one yet. The second problem is, even if I do, will it be a good fit for me? I have been evaluating what I want and what will truly make me happy. Honestly it’s scaring the crap out of me, but here I am regardless. Being a lover of art, humanity, and spirituality, I realize that the likelihood of me finding a job to fulfill me while also paying me well is not very good. I suppose it’s true that people need different things in life. Or perhaps that the idea of “fulfillment” isn’t even a thought in most people’s lives, I dunno. I suppose I am more or less a weirdo.

Here’s a pretentious thing to say: I was reading Thoreau the other day, (most of the time I really can’t take myself seriously) and a line stuck out to me: “As if you could kill time without injuring eternity.” How do I find balance between living passionately and fully and pushing through not-so-great things in order to, in the future, be somewhere better? Is taking a not-so-good job that will get me where I want to go worth the effort? Should I suspend my happiness?

Perhaps I’m not seeing it clearly.  Perhaps it’s finding happiness in day-to-day things, people, places. All I know is that I’ve watched too many people in my life settle for careers they hated because it “will pay off in the end.”It allowed them to be financially secure. A job is a job, but if I’m going to spend 40+ hours a week there, I have to hope that I’d enjoy it. I’m not sure I can live another way.  Isn’t the biggest, unmendable wound in life wasted time?



2 thoughts on “On my impending graduation/doomsday/soul search”

  1. You seem to be conducting your search responsibly. And take heart: career moves happen for most adults with much greater frequency — and ease — than they did ten years ago. Most people seek and find new career opportunities every five years or so. Commit to building skills, forging relationships, and to being willing to take a chance and discover what you’re after while on the job.

    I say most of things in hopes they’re true and reasonable-sounding. Full-disclosure: I’m also seeking full-time work. Funny how we often give the advice we most needed to hear ourselves.

    Whatever you do, keep up with the blogging. A lot of good stuff here.

    1. Hey there Patrick.. just saw this months later, but thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your words are still encouraging today, and I hope you’ve had luck on the job end.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s